


Just Friends

by Dawnrider



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, One Shot, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:47:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22061287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawnrider/pseuds/Dawnrider
Summary: Originally posted to FFnet in January of 2006: Kikyou gives Kagome an ultimatum regarding her relationship with Inuyasha.  A songfic with "Just Friends" by Gavin Degraw.
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha, Miroku/Sango (InuYasha)
Kudos: 59





	Just Friends

The trees shaded her from the late afternoon sun as she wandered, unsure of where she was walking but fairly sure of where she’d end up. The Goshinboku. It drew her every time she was near and she wasn’t about to ignore its call this time. Its usually gentle beckoning was more acute and she had a feeling she knew what she would find at its base. The leaf-filled branches whispered in the early summer breezes while several shinidamachu swept by her on either side, her constant companions in this relatively empty existence. She could see why they made living people nervous but they were the only things that listened to her without question, protected her when no one else was there to do so and sustained her with the souls of the dead. Kikyou had to admit it was a gruesome way to stay alive… if that’s what one could call her. Soon the strong and wizened aura of the old tree captured her attention and she stood in subdued awe of it. This being, this sacred tree, had stood the test of time in a way that she couldn’t even begin to imagine. From what she’d heard from Inuyasha it still stood, tall and proud, in her reincarnation’s time. Speaking of her reincarnation…

“I… Oh…” the girl stuttered, backing away slightly at her sudden appearance. If she’d had the ability to be amused anymore, she would have laughed at the uncertainty in the young woman who held the majority of their soul within her breast. It did, however, give her some small sense of satisfaction to know the girl felt uncomfortable in her presence. Not because she was dead, but because the girl knew of the relationship between herself and Inuyasha and her unwelcome part in it. “Um… Inuyasha’s not around,” Kagome murmured while dropping her eyes to her shoes, “He’s with Miroku-sama in the next village over. A youkai attacked and…”

“I know he is not here,” Kikyou cut in coldly to stop the girl’s rambling. “I did not come to speak with him.” Confusion found its way onto her reincarnation’s face, her brows coming together in a distinct frown. Kikyou had to admit that Kagome was nice-looking in a wild sort of way. It was obvious she was unrefined and still ignorant of much of the ways of the world. “It is you I wished to speak with concerning your relationship with Inuyasha.” Kagome gasped in shock, taking a step back as if to turn and run. Kikyou halted that idea before it could begin, one of her soul-stealers floating behind the young miko and nudging her forward. The chill that ran down the girl’s spine was visible from across the clearing and Kikyou felt something like mirth bubble within her. She couldn’t waste time with this however. Inuyasha would come for the girl soon, especially if he sensed her shinidamachu nearby. He still feared Kikyou would do Kagome harm if left alone with her. He didn’t know how right he was. “You and he have become closer in the recent past.”

It was not a question but the girl in the strange clothing felt the need to respond anyway. “I suppose so. Inuyasha is one of my best friends.” Kagome looked nervous, uncomfortable, and there was a distinct blush lighting her cheeks.

“So you admit only to being friends?” Kagome fidgeted, unable to meet Kikyou’s cold dark eyes but she nodded. “I see. I only ask to be aware of what kind of influence you hold over him. He has made promises to me that I intend for him to keep. When the time comes for him to keep them it would be unfair to him to confuse him with… other responsibilities. I trust you understand me and will act accordingly.” Kagome looked up, not quite believing her ears. Was Kikyou really threatening her? It was well known that Inuyasha had promised to avenge Kikyou’s death and somewhere along the way a promise to go with her to hell had been woven into the deal. Did the undead miko really think that she, an untrained and awkward miko from the future, had such a heavy influence over Inuyasha’s mind and would try to make him break his promises? Or was it more a tactic to drive her away, force her back to her own time in order to have Inuyasha all to herself? Kagome wasn’t sure which was worse. She tried not to be petty and jealous but it was hard to compete with a woman who looked like you but prettier, had powers like your own but stronger and held the man you loved in the palm of her hand like a little puppet. She fell short in all things and she knew it.

I saw you there last night

Standing in the dark

You were acting so in love

With your hand upon his heart

When she looked around the clearing, the resurrected miko and her creepy lizard companions were gone and only the gentle breeze through the leaves of the god tree greeted her ears. Kagome sunk disconsolately to the ground on her knees and tried to keep from crying, knowing it would get her nowhere and only make things worse for her in the long run. She didn’t know how long she sat there in numb silence, only the sound of her muffled sobs for company. It was less that she heard him and more that she felt him arrive. His presence woke her from her miserable trance and warmed her chilled skin. “Kagome…” Within a few moments she was wrapped in strong arms and held against a hard chest. “What happened? Are you alright?” She nodded weakly and nuzzled herself tightly against her hanyou. He didn’t need to know how she’d been told to stay away from him, he didn’t need to know that his past love had threatened her. He would only become upset by the knowledge and she didn’t want to hurt him. “What did she want?” he questioned, surprising her that he hadn’t gone after his love to ask for himself. He usually became a mess when Kikyou was nearby, chasing after her and coming back looking more upset than when he’d left.

“Nothing… She… I don’t know.” He didn’t seem to believe Kagome’s words yet he didn’t rush off into the woods to look for Kikyou either. But while the young woman from the future was content to stay here and let him soothe her soul, she knew she had no right to keep him there. He had promises to keep and protecting Kikyou was one of them. Protecting her came above all else and Kagome stifled a sob at the thought. “She probably wanted to talk to you, you should go after her,” she whispered brokenly against the cloth of his haori. He went rigid, his arms tightening around her shoulders. She fully expected him to release her and run after Kikyou but instead he stood with her still wrapped securely in his arms. She felt so safe there and yet she knew this was exactly what she’d been warned against doing.

He couldn’t believe she was acting this way. Didn’t she realize that he needed to know she was alright before he went anywhere? Kagome needed his protection far more than Kikyou ever had yet it wasn’t an obligation to keep her safe or his duty to help her find the jewel shards that kept him with her, kept her in his arms… It was the fact that he knew she was hurting and he had a strong hunch that told him why. “Did she hurt you?” She shook her head adamantly. “What did she say to you?” he questioned again, more forcefully this time. Kagome remained silent, obviously afraid or unwilling to answer him. “Kagome I can’t fix it if…”

She interrupted him sharply. “No, you can’t fix it!” she snapped, trying to pull away from him and nearly succeeding. It was common and not unexpected for her to hide her upset with anger, start a fight to make him do what she thought was right. He wasn’t going to fall for it this time. “Let me go Inuyasha, let me go!” But he wouldn’t release her. She wasn’t strong enough to make him let go and she wouldn’t use the command on him now because he’d end up crushing her.

“Stop struggling! What’s wrong with you?” he growled. Kagome went limp and he had to bend his knees to catch her. If he planned to keep her, she wasn’t going to make it easy on him. He didn’t understand how much it hurt her to have him act so concerned when she couldn’t let him, couldn’t respond in kind. Kikyou hadn’t made clear her threat but Kagome had no doubts she would follow through with it whatever it was. Kikyou wasn’t so much evil as she was methodical. She had plans and no one could mess them up without dire consequences. The incident in Naraku’s nightmare vines had been proof enough of that. To the undead miko, Kagome was simply an obstacle and just now she’d been given the option to remove herself or be removed from the picture by force. “Kagome. Tell me what she said to you. You’re fucking scaring me.” Again she shook her head and again Inuyasha growled at her for being so stubborn. He seemed to be determined to hold onto her at all costs and even scratched her by accident with a claw when she fought against his hold. “Shit! You see?” He dissolved into indistinct grumbling, lifting her into his arms to carry her back to the village.

But you were just friends

At least that’s what you said

Now I know better

From his fingers in your hair

I forgive you for what you’ve done

If you say that I’m the one

She hadn’t anticipated this development. The girl had tried to distance herself from the hanyou, but he’d made it clear he wasn’t about to let her do it. Kagome’s effort may not have been quite up to the standards Kikyou had set but it was good for how distraught the girl had been. ‘He always was so stubborn,’ she thought idly. She wondered at the fact that he hadn’t even bothered to try and come after her this time. He knew she was in the area - there was no way he couldn’t know - shinidamachu had nearly brushed the end of his nose. But still he ignored her summons and remained diligently with her reincarnation. At the moment she wasn’t angry, simply confused. Kagome seemed to be doing everything in her relatively measly powers to keep him at bay but Inuyasha was all the more determined to find out what was upsetting her. He’d never been like that with her when she was alive.

Of course he was attentive and followed her everywhere, but back then they’d both been fairly wary of each other. He never opened himself up to her the way he did to her copy. A small frown knit her perfect black brows together. Did she feel such resentment toward Kagome that she was resorting to childish name-calling? Kikyou moved slightly closer to the village so that she had a better view of the hanyou following the young miko as she made her way toward who knew where. He was shouting at her and every once in a while she would halfheartedly call out an “osuwari” to force her hanyou antagonist face first into the ground. It was obvious to all, including the generally dense Inuyasha, that Kagome didn’t really want him to be hurt by the subduing spell and so he continued to follow her even after she’d sent him to the ground at least ten times in just as many minutes. Normally he would have been a snarling ball of rage by now and probably would have left the girl to do what she wanted without interruption but he was uncharacteristically persistent in trying to get Kagome to tell him what was bothering her. “Leave it alone Inuyasha!” she finally cried, rounding on the silver-haired boy and clenching her hands in blatant frustration.

“I don’t care where the fuck you go, I’m following you until you tell me what the hell is wrong with you, wench!” he snapped back at her in equal frustration. Kikyou couldn’t help but think that their fighting had to mean that they were sure to separate on bad terms, the girl would go back through the well and never return. Inuyasha would be too stubborn and proud to go through and get her, as she’d watched him do once, and the two would never reconcile. Surely they had never had a fight quite so explosive before! It wasn’t until her reincarnation broke down into tears, dashing in the direction of the well only to have Inuyasha catch her around the waist and stop her, that Kikyou realized how close the two of them truly were. “Kagome,” he murmured into the girl’s hair as he held her. She’d never stayed around long enough to see how the two of them interacted on a regular basis so it was hard to determine what was normal behavior for the two and what wasn’t. He’d never held her like that before. The time she’d tripped after their afternoon on the boat, a few short hugs before she’d died, and a few more after she’d been resurrected were all the affectionate embraces with Inuyasha that Kikyou could lay claim to. This painted an entirely different picture from anything she’d been privy to. A pair who cared about one another a great deal, one trying to distance herself for his sake and the other desperate to protect her from pain he couldn’t understand. Maybe the girl was a bigger threat to her carefully laid plans than she’d originally anticipated.

Kagome tried to keep Inuyasha from chasing her to the well but it had been a futile attempt. He was obstinate and obviously determined to know what made her upset. He told her he could smell that she was sad and it was making his nose burn. So while she hadn’t been able to tell at first whether he truly cared or if he just wanted her to stop bothering his delicate sense of smell it was clear now that he honestly wanted to know what was bugging her. He could have let her leave, removed the source of the bothersome scent, but he’d persisted in following her into the woods just outside the village and now held her tightly to keep her from heading to the well.

I’ve had other options too

But all I want is you

Girl your body fits me like a glove

And you shower me with words of love

Slowly her resolve was cracking. He wasn’t letting go of her nor was he about to let go of their argument. “Tell me what’s wrong. I can’t… help if I don’t know what you’re running from,” he whispered from somewhere just above the crown of her head. Kagome could feel the tension in his body and it wasn’t from anger. He was honestly worried and unwaveringly in pursuit of the source of her pain and anger. “Has she finally made you lose all trust in me?” he eventually mumbled when she had remained silent for too long. The young woman gasped in surprise and outrage.

“Never! I just…” All the confidence her anger had brought faded out of her all too quickly. He hated to see her so broken like this, so uncertain. It was like she didn’t have any idea where to go, how to begin, how to let him help her or even if she should let him help her. “You’ll have to follow through on your promises to her one day. You’re too honorable not to. It isn’t fair of me to try and give you more promises to keep, ones you aren’t free to make in the first place.” Inuyasha felt his heart try to stop beating. So that was what she was so upset about. She thought he would be torn between her and Kikyou when it came to the end of their quest, that somehow he would be swayed by her friendship and love to stay with her and forsake Kikyou. She obviously didn’t understand the situation or she was too easily swayed by his past love. 

Kikyou was just that, a thing of the past. He had done his duty to avenge her death, undo the twisted knots of deceit that had led to them betraying one another. The supposed promise to go to hell had been the product of confusion and stupidity and hadn’t even been stated to the undead miko herself. Somehow her claiming his life as her own and hers as his had been construed to fit into this very unreal pledge to die with her. Sesshomaru claimed his life in much the same way every time they fought, telling him or the others that the only one to take his brother’s life would be the stoic taiyoukai himself. Kagome didn’t think he wanted Sesshomaru now too, did she? He stifled a full body shudder at the very thought. “It isn’t like that Kagome. Any promises I make, I make of my own free will. My promises to Kikyou are fulfilled. Naraku is dead, we know the truth about what happened all those years ago and she doesn’t need me to protect her or she would have come to ask me months ago. What more is there to worry about?”

Kagome nodded her head sullenly. “She wants you to be with her. She’s… lonely I think. I would understand if…”

“Don’t start that. You say you understand, but you don’t!” he snarled. Though Inuyasha’s anger was very real it wasn’t directed at her. “I always come back Kagome,” he whispered while holding her as close to him as physical bounds would allow. While he stated the truth, he did always return to her, he often made her feel like he would much rather be somewhere else when he was there. His insults, the fights, his side trips to see Kikyou whenever she came near… Then there was his fierce protectiveness, his tender care when she was hurt, and their fleeting moments of carefree joy. Kagome didn’t know what to think anymore but she had unwillingly made a promise to Kikyou that she wouldn’t allow him to be swayed by her presence from his sense of duty to his past love.

At the same time she had a duty to herself to be happy, and she just couldn’t do that without him by her side. She had long since resigned herself to the fact that one day she would never see him again, whether from her returning through the well to her time for good or when he went with Kikyou to the afterlife. It wasn’t a bright future and Kagome knew that when that day came, she would never recover. “One day you might not. I have no right to keep you here. You… aren’t mine to keep. You’ve belonged to her since before I met you and even though I knew that I…” she trailed off while trying to swallow the painful lump that had formed in her throat. “The point is there’s nothing to argue about. I knew the risks and I ignored them. It isn’t fair to make you feel guilty for the expectations I had when you have another who needs you more than I do.” 

While you were just friends

At least that’s what you said

Now I know better

From his fingers in your hair

I forgive you for what you’ve done

If you say that I’m the one

It hurt to say it, to admit she knew he didn’t love her, but it was necessary to make him see. He had to know that she understood and wouldn’t blame him for the decisions he’d made, the one he’d chosen before he’d even met her. She knew what it was like to love someone without entirely understanding why, to want to give anything and everything for that person. Inuyasha continued to frown down at her while holding her close to his chest. Suddenly he scooped her up and just started walking without a word. The young miko squeaked in surprise and clung to his neck to keep her balance. After a few minutes it wasn’t hard to see where he was headed. There were only two things this way, the Goshinboku and the well. Needless to say she didn’t think he planned to throw her down the well after all this time and his last few speeches. Part of her was terrified that Kikyou was still in the area and would see them together. She would have fought harder against Inuyasha’s hold but he was far stronger than she was and she would rather hurt herself than try anything that could honestly hurt him.

He needed time to think through all this and Kagome was liable to run off if he let her go. Plus he needed to talk through a few things with her before he could completely understand the situation. Obviously Kikyou had talked to Kagome under the sacred tree, leaving the poor young woman in tears at the end of their conversation. The raven-haired girl in his arms had been convinced to talk about what was bothering her, his duties to Kikyou, and it didn’t take a scholar to figure out that the same topic had to have been the center of her conversation with the resurrected miko. So now what he had to come up with was the why. Why had Kikyou decided that Kagome should be so concerned about his obligations to her past incarnation. “So you want to give up then, is that it?” he finally asked aloud. It was obvious to him that she had been trying to put some kind of distance between them all evening and the fact had bothered him worse than her upset had.

“What is there to give up Inuyasha?” she sighed, still holding tightly to his neck to help him keep from dropping her as he leapt from the ground into the higher branches of the old tree. He rarely took her up there since it was dangerous, but if they ever needed time to just talk or she was having trouble sleeping, he would take her into his arms and into the embrace of Goshinboku. The god tree had a soothing effect like that, calming one’s worst fears and healing broken hearts. “I have no claim over you,” she murmured, drawing his attention from the whispering of the tree’s aura over his frayed nerves. Slowly, and with more than a little hesitation on his part, he slipped one of her arms from around his shoulders and held her hand in his own. Her hands were so small and delicate yet slightly rough with the calluses from using her bow. It didn’t take much coaxing to get her palm open and flat against his chest, just over where his heart lay. Kagome let out something that sounded suspiciously like a sob and a laugh. “Don’t Inuyasha. Not when you can’t hold yourself to it.”

“Kagome…”

“Can we just stay like this for a little while? Please?” she whispered, cutting him off with her soft pleading tone. He wanted to stay like this forever. And if she didn’t want to talk about it yet, he wasn’t about to push her. It was nice to just hold her, no reason needed. The two remained in the branches of Goshinboku for the rest of the night, it’s powerful and gentle aura enveloping the couple.

The girl was not doing as told. Anger was not something Kikyou was unaccustomed to. It was one of the few emotions she was still capable of. But there was something beyond anger that she was beginning to feel. Betrayal. Kagome, with her silence, had accepted her terms and agreed to let Inuyasha go. Now the two of them were snuggled high in the branches of the sacred tree, both half asleep by now. ‘Damn that girl, and damn Inuyasha for allowing her to sway him so easily.’ She didn’t feel that it was entirely Inuyasha’s fault however. He had always been looking for someone to accept him as he was and now that he seemed to have found it in Kagome, she didn’t expect him to be all that willing to give it up.

It’s not my style to lay it on the line

But you don’t leave me with a choice this time

Why, wouldn’t you choose?

Ooh you know I (you know I) I trusted you

She was patient. She waited until the group made ready to journey again since the girl would have to go back to her time to get more supplies as she always did. Then she would have the chance to get her reincarnation alone and remind her of her duty to Inuyasha. The girl and hanyou had been as close as ever in the last week, and the images her shinidamachu brought her disturbed her greatly. Inuyasha, the stubborn and shy inuhanyou, had been the one to initiate much of the close contact the two had in the last week. Kagome didn’t deter him if he began it, but there was always a sad look in her eyes that had him pulling away sooner than it seemed he would have liked. The young miko wanted to protect him, wanted to return his affections but restrained herself admirably. Kikyou could nearly feel the way the girl’s heart was breaking through the somewhat latent connection they had through their shared soul.

Similarly, Inuyasha was slowly breaking as well. Kagome’s rejection of his subtle affections was starting to wear down the young hanyou’s spirit. A small part of the resurrected miko, which still felt affection toward him, cringed to see him hurting like that. The whole situation was having a more adverse affect on him than she had anticipated and it was obvious that she would have to encourage the girl to leave and not come back, break contact with Inuyasha completely or risk watching him waste away. This tactic was slowly crumbling his soul and she hated to see him that way almost as much as she hated the idea of dying alone. A tiny voice in the back of her mind was giving her second thoughts, something she couldn’t afford to be having.

Kagome startled to a stop when she felt the cold presence of her previous incarnation. It was less a feeling and more a quiet knowledge. “Am I not doing a good enough job?” she questioned bitterly without turning around to face the source of her pain. She knew that she wasn’t up to snuff with Kikyou’s demand but she couldn’t help it. Inuyasha had been more affectionate in the last week than he had ever been in the last three years and the stubborn part of her that was still left whole wouldn’t let her ignore that fact completely. While it was somewhat surprising, it wasn’t entirely unexpected. She had made it clear what kept them apart and that she wouldn’t let him feel guilty for it. He had interpreted it as her needing reassurance that she meant more to him than he had previously let her believe. It seemed that both of them were destined to be hurt at the end of this whether or not they did anything to stop it. “I’m trying, but you know how he is, he just won’t let things go.” With a sigh, her shoulders slumped and she held her breath to keep from sobbing. Why did everything she wanted have to come now when she’d made a promise to let him go?

“He is stubborn. There’s nothing you can do about that.” Taking a step closer to the girl who held her soul, aged over five hundred years, she felt like she should offer the girl some kind of comfort. The thought surprised Kikyou and another step closer made the urge stronger. She resisted it however, keeping a slight distance. “Perhaps if you left…”

“I can’t do that to him. I promised him I would stay by his side.”

“That may be. But you would make it easier on him if he did not have to see you every day.” While her voice was gentle, her idea was not. Leaving Inuyasha was the last thing Kagome wanted to do. He may leave her in the end but she refused to be the one who left him. Maybe she was selfish for wanting to stay near him, but she couldn’t leave him alone, not when he so feared it.

“Kagome’s not going anywhere,” came a voice from out of the trees. Kagome had been so caught up in her bitter feelings and the icy feeling that swept over her with Kikyou’s arrival that she hadn’t felt Inuyasha’s youki approach. He stood, hair blowing gently in the wind, his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face. At that moment, Kagome silently swore she’d never seen anything so beautiful in her life. Kikyou’s slightly shocked look made Kagome want to smirk since the undead miko obviously hadn’t sensed Inuyasha either. ‘At least I wasn’t the only one and he knows her game now.’ Kagome waited as Inuyasha thought over what he wanted to say and how to say it.

When you were just friends

At least that’s what you said

Now I know better

From his fingers in your hair

I forgive you for what you’ve done

If you say that I’m the one

“What exactly is it you’re trying to do here Kikyou?” he asked quietly. His tone remained relatively neutral and even. He was glad he’d thought to come after Kagome when he had since it was clear that she’d made some agreement with Kikyou. He wasn’t about to let Kagome walk out of his life. Not now and not ever. He had too many things to say to her, too many things he wanted to give to and show her. His love for one thing. The last week had been the most painful and beautiful week of his life. He’d finally allowed himself to show Kagome how much he cared. Nothing over the top of course but enough that he knew she got the idea. He wasn’t one for flashy shows of affection but just touching her a little, helping her stand even if she didn’t need it, leaping higher into the air just to hear her giggle a little… anything to make her smile. He’d seen how she’d wanted to return the gestures, how she would grip his hand a little longer than necessary, make his ramen before she started dinner for everyone else, watched him fish in the river without reason, just sitting in silence with a little smile on her face. But it was all very reserved, especially for Kagome, and he’d noticed the pain in her eyes, the sadness in her scent when he made clear his intentions through his little signals.

An unwelcome obstacle. Inuyasha was supposed to be back at the village so that she would have time to talk to Kagome alone. This was going to make things a lot harder than they had to be. “I simply came to remind the girl to be careful.” Inuyasha’s dark brows knit together in a pointed frown. He didn’t buy it for a second. It probably hadn’t helped her not entirely untrue statement when she hadn’t used Kagome’s name. Inuyasha had made it clear to several people, including her, that her reincarnation had a name and that she was a person all her own. While Kikyou agreed that the girl was not like her in the least, it could not be denied that they shared the same soul. “She is returning to her time, I only wanted to see that she…”

“Don’t lie to me. I know you’ve been trying to get Kagome to leave. I heard you,” he snapped. It was unheard of for him to get angry with her. He’d never yelled at her before, never! “Kagome stays with me, end of story.” The young girl gasped slightly, tears in her deep brown eyes and a small smile creeping onto her lips. 

This was most undesirable. Inuyasha had to let the girl go without a fuss and come willingly with her to the afterlife so that they could be together, so that she would not die alone. But he seemed very determined to not only live, but live with her reincarnation and have the life that they had never had a chance at. “You choose the girl? You would leave me to wander the world alone Inuyasha?” she questioned him in a quiet voice, no emotion filtering into her tone. He glanced away a moment, guilt in his eyes and the resurrected miko couldn’t help feeling that she had won a small battle there. The war, however, was far from over.

“If you truly needed me like you say, you would have simply come to me and asked that I travel with you. You would not have gone behind my back, made Kagome upset and told her to stay away from me.” The astute observation hit her harder than she thought it would. This man, this hanyou that stood before her… he was not the same one she’d thought she’d known, even in the last few years. He was calm, confident and more than capable of putting the pieces together. He took a few steps closer to where Kagome stood silently by the Bone Eater’s well and reached out to take her hand. The gesture was not lost on Kikyou. He had made his choice and he wanted to live. Kikyou tried to feel the betrayal, the anger she was so accustomed to feeling but it seemed to be leaching from her. She took a few slow steps backwards and felt the strength of her resentment fill her. A few steps in the other direction had that slipping from her fingers like so much sand. The girl’s aura, her soul… Something about the girl’s presence made it impossible for her to feel bitter and angry. “Kagome needs me. You’ve been protecting yourself this long. I don’t think you even want me around.” Kikyou was almost too wrapped up in her confusion to hear him.

You were just friends

At least that’s what you said

Now I know better

From his fingers in your hair

I forgive you for what you’ve done

If you say that I’m the one

His hand was so warm around hers. She’d felt so cold with Kikyou nearby but Inuyasha’s strength made it all disappear. He would protect her, he wouldn’t let her leave. “Inuyasha,” she murmured, greeting him, thanking him, and loving him all in one breath. He smiled a little, a simple quirk of his lips, before he turned back to Kikyou who looked a bit confused. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to get hurt,” Kagome whispered to him and he shook his head.

“Stupid wench. If you didn’t want that, you shouldn’t have listened to her. Plus, I don’t get hurt,” he muttered under his breath. Kagome rolled her eyes faintly but said nothing more as she refocused her attention on Kikyou who seemed to have no intention of letting this stand. The young miko could feel the small part of her soul housed within the body of clay which Kikyou possessed. Something within her tugged at that piece, the section that had been forcibly divided from the rest of her. It didn’t usually hurt to have it gone, or at least she’d never noticed it, but at that moment an intense pain filled her chest and had her doubling over in pain. “Kagome!” she heard Inuyasha shout somewhere beside her. The world felt like it had suddenly flown off its axis, spinning and bucking. The young woman could feel warm arms around her, hear a heartbeat other than her own in her ear. She struggled against the pain to reach that heartbeat. ‘Inuyasha.’ She had to get to him and everything would be alright.

Everything happened so fast. Kagome clutching her chest suddenly, pain filtering into her scent, her sharp cry of his name. Inuyasha hardly knew what to do. What could possibly be happening? With a glance in Kikyou’s direction it was all too clear. Souls flew from her body but she didn’t appear to be weakening. Quite the opposite in fact. She was trying to pull Kagome’s soul out of her. “Inuyasha,” Kagome whispered weakly, still fighting the pain to speak his name. He knew what had to be done but the very idea made him ill. “It’s alright… You… deserve to be happy,” she told him, breaking off in a whimper of pain. There was no way he was losing her, not like this.

“Kikyou stop! Release her soul,” he growled as menacingly as he could. The undead miko only ignored him. The silver-haired hanyou didn’t want to leave Kagome even to attack Kikyou in order to save her. “Kagome, look at me,” he whispered desperately while cradling the girl to his chest protectively. His hand touched her face gently until her eyes opened a fraction. “Kagome fight back, you have to. You can’t leave me.” Her struggle seemed internal but her pain was entirely real. The inuhanyou held her tightly as he twisted his ears to hear the other miko grunt in discomfort and frustration. “Please Kagome, I love you,” he murmured, gently kissing her forehead and holding her as close to him as he could. He could hear Kikyou’s breathing become labored and soft curses leaving her lips. Kagome’s pain seemed to be lessening and it appeared as though it was easier for her to open her eyes. “That’s it Kagome, stay with me.” His mouth found hers without his permission and she responded almost immediately. It was weak and timid, but he could feel her answering his kiss.

“No… I will not die alone, not again,” Kikyou whimpered as the souls continued to leave her body. Without her shinidamachu, which couldn’t seem to get close enough to help her, she couldn’t restore the lost souls. Even the little part of her soul, the part that had been torn from the girl nearly three years ago, was slowly working its way out of her. With it went her consciousness and her fear. She would not die alone because she was not going to die. Kagome was very much alive and very obviously loved and cared for. No further thoughts flitted through her mind as a tiny ball of light flitted through the air and soaked through Kagome’s back. The young girl gasped and pulled slightly away from her hanyou to breathe.

“Kagome?” he whispered in faint awe. Her eyes opened slowly, blinking up at him as she breathed deeply. He didn’t need to glance over at Kikyou to know she was no longer there. He could smell the dust she had become and the grave dirt and bones that were mixed in. Kagome’s arms had worked their way out from between them and were hooked tightly around his neck and shoulders. She was crying slightly, whispering his name and telling him she was sorry. “No Kagome, stop. It isn’t your fault. She attacked you.”

I forgive you for what you’ve done

If you say that I’m the one

“Kagome,” he mumbled her name while lifting her chin and kissing her once more. “Thank the Kami you’re ok. I thought I was going to lose you.” A soft whimper sounded in his throat at the very thought. She felt dizzy, out of it. Her chest didn’t hurt anymore but she could sense how weak she was. There was no way she was going to be able to stand on her own. Kagome lifted one hand to Inuyasha’s cheek, gently caressing his face. He smiled down at her, a smile she couldn’t help but return. He loved her, he’d actually said it, and he’d kissed her. She could hardly believe it was all real, a small voice in her head telling her she should be waking up about now. But Inuyasha just lifted her into his arms and began carrying her back toward the village. It was obvious he wasn’t about to let her go back through the well right now and she wouldn’t have fought him on it even if she’d had the strength to do so.

To think he could have lost her. He would mourn Kikyou later after he took Kagome to Kaede where the old woman could make sure she was alright. Right now he was too happy to have her in his arms, alive and breathing, to put her down any time soon. “Thank you Inuyasha,” he heard her whisper. When he looked down into her deep brown eyes, wide and watery, he smiled and leaned toward her to nuzzle her cheek. He didn’t need to say anything since the small gesture of affection had made Kagome’s eyes bright with happiness and a shy smile come to her lips. She still looked a little pale but appeared, over all, more beautiful than ever. ‘Kami do I love this woman!’ Upon reaching the old miko’s hut a ball of fur came flying at the pair flanked by a worried monk and a confused Sango. Inuyasha could tell that the monk had been on his way toward the well, ofuda and his staff in hand. Sango was in full battle armor, Hiraikotsu over her shoulder.

“I felt something… We were concerned,” Miroku stated. It was obvious that something had happened but the inuhanyou and miko had returned safely so it appeared there was nothing to worry about any longer. Inuyasha gave a short explanation of the events by the well and the group made their way into the hut to talk while Kaede fussed over Kagome. Shippo was snuggled resolutely against his adopted mother’s stomach, not budging for anything. The poor kit was traumatized by the very idea that they could have lost Kagome. They’d all been surprised when he’d thanked Inuyasha in a small voice for saving her when he could have had Kikyou back. The hanyou was more startled than anyone and could only offer a small grunt in answer. Way deep down he was a little angry that anyone could think he would give Kagome up to have Kikyou back but he realized that if anyone thought that, he had only himself to blame.

Kaede declared that Kagome was fine and only needed some rest. Inuyasha, of course, wouldn’t let her out of his sight and stayed near her futon the entire time she napped. A few hours later she felt as good as new and even Inuyasha couldn’t deny her recovery. He said her scent was different and the two of them guessed that having her whole soul again made a difference. “Inuyasha I…” Kagome wasn’t sure where to begin. She wanted to apologize for indirectly causing Kikyou’s death. If she’d had more control over her powers she might have been able to let her keep the little chunk of her soul. But he’d stopped her before she could even begin.

“Don’t Kagome. What’s done is done. It was time for her to rest anyway. Don’t beat yourself up over something you couldn’t control.” He sighed and scooted closer to where she sat on the edge of the futon, taking her hands in his own. “I’m just glad you’re alright. I… Kagome,” he mumbled. It seemed to be the only thing he could say to truly express his relief. Her small hands held his firmly, gaining his attention and lifting his golden gaze to her face. He was slightly shocked when she pressed a short kiss to each of the backs of his hands and then rested her soft cheek to them. He was overwhelmed with feeling, with the urge to take her in his arms. It was not an urge to be denied. She settled comfortably against him and the two sat in comfortable silence for the rest of the evening. Inuyasha made a silent vow to never let her go again.

I forgive you for what you’ve done

If you say that I’m the one

I forgive you

It was a bright morning despite the somber mood of the proceedings and Kagome looked into the blue sky with a faint smile on her lips. They would spread Kikyou’s ashes that day, casting them to the four winds in order to keep anyone from trying to resurrect her again. Inuyasha looked calmer than she had anticipated but deep down she had a feeling that him clinging to her hand the entire time had a lot to do with it. She couldn’t begrudge him that, knowing he was probably much more upset than he was letting on. Miroku blessed the ashes and burned a protective ofuda to add with them before casting it all to the skies. A somewhat supernatural wind took the ashes and let them fly in every which way until there was not a trace left. The houshi said another prayer and the group made their way back to the village. Along the way Inuyasha stopped her with a gentle tug on her hand and she waved Sango on when the demon slayer glanced back at them over her shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he said gruffly. Kagome could quickly tell that he needed the time away from the others to grieve and yet she was surprised that he wanted her there with him. Usually he would have leapt off into a tree and remained there for a few hours, or even days, to brood. Without asking, and not needing to if she was honest, he took her toward the Goshinboku only to sink down into the roots. Inuyasha pulled her down with him and simply held her, his face buried in her shoulder. She comforted him the only way she knew how, gently petting his hair and holding him close. After a few moments she realized that he was crying but said nothing since it would only embarrass him. “Promise me you’ll never leave,” he whispered and Kagome’s heart broke a little for him.

“Of course Inuyasha. I’ll be by your side for as long as you want me here.” His tears subsided and he roughly scrubbed at his cheeks. Kagome’s touch continued to be soft and soothing and he leaned against her once more, taking in her scent and savoring it. “Are you going to be ok?” she asked quietly, lifting his face so he would look her in the eye when he answered her. He nodded slowly but didn’t pull away from her touch as she seemed to expect him to. “Inuyasha…”

“Promise me you’ll stay with me,” he whispered again and she frowned, faintly confused by his demands. He bit his lip then sighed, obviously about to clarify his request. “Kagome, I never want to lose you. I nearly did yesterday. If you… stay with me… be with me…” Suddenly it dawned on her what he was asking of her. Tears filled her eyes and a happy sob left her lips. Throwing her arms around his neck she pulled him against her in a tight hug. He embraced her in return, sighing his relief into her hair. She would never let him out of her sight, out of her arms, out of her heart. She could only hope that he felt the same way about her. They stayed under the protective shadow of the great tree for several hours, neither one saying much of anything and not needing to in any case. They were both comforted by the other’s presence and the serene, uninterrupted solitude they were allowed to share for the greater part of the afternoon.

When night finally fell, Inuyasha tucked Kagome into his haori and leapt onto one of the wider branches of Goshinboku. Since the limb was more than strong enough to hold them both, Inuyasha leaned back and helped her snuggle against him. There was a convenient parting of the leaves above them, which allowed for a pristine view of the emerging stars. “We can’t stay up here all night,” Kagome whispered, turning her head to nuzzle under his chin. The inuhanyou smiled and shrugged, keeping silent for a long time. When he finally spoke his voice was tender and raspy.

“Maybe not. But any time we can spend up here is better than none at all.” Kagome smiled while squeezing his hand reassuringly. “Be my mate?” he whispered, seemingly out of nowhere. The young woman stiffened in his arms. She could hardly believe her ears. It was one thing for him to ask her to stay, another entirely to ask her to be his. A watery smile worked its way onto her lips.

“In any life I’ve lived or life I lead in the future, all I’ll ever want is to be your one and only.” Arms tightening around her waist, the hanyou held his breath. “Yes Inuyasha.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is a really old fic, but I'm fairly proud of it, so I wanted to post it here too. My portrayal of Kikyou is... not perfect by any means. I was trying to better get at her motivations, but not sure I really hit the mark. Hope you enjoyed it!


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